As difficult as divorce is, there are highly successful and proven methods for letting go and moving on after a divorce. There is much needless suffering that can be eased and circumvented. There are highly specific skills that one can utilize to facilitate one’s emotional recovery from divorce.
Shelley Stile, a certified Divorce Recovery Life Coach in Montclair, NJ states: “ There are powerful concepts employed in divorce recovery that facilitate our ability to let go and move on after divorce. Acceptance can be achieved through highly specific tools and skills. It isn’t necessarily an easy road but it is absolutely doable.”
She goes on, “If you are to take back control of your life, and let go of the pain, resentment and regret, you must be in full acceptance of and take total responsibility of your new reality and your feelings. As hard as acceptance is, it is essential to your future. Understanding the high cost of resisting reality is the key.”
In the interim, we have to protect ourselves from runaway emotions. Learning to handle our emotions in a healthy way must be achieved so that there is as little collateral damage as possible. It is up to both people to consciously choose how they will handle their divorce and subsequently how it will affect their lives and the lives of their children. Those choices can make or break a family.”
Stile is the author of the new book, 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On After your Divorce, and she knows first hand about what it takes to accomplish an emotional divorce as she is a divorced mother of two. She assures us that one can make this massive life transition easier.
In addition, Stile believes that one can utilize one’s divorce as a means to a better future. “Divorce can also be the knock on the head that can awaken us to handle the emotional baggage we brought into the marriage, so that our new life can be happier and more fulfilling than our past one,” says Stile. “ Divorce can be the starting point for a second chance at life.”
According to national statistics, nearly 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Divorce does not have to resemble a battlefield with all sorts of casualties. Divorce can be a civil and respectful process that ensures a stable and bright future for all involved. Divorce may seem totally overwhelming but it does not have to be so.
Stile’s book is a culmination of years of one-on-one divorce coaching, research and her own personal experience in divorce recovery. Tracy Achen, Editor of WomensDivorce.com describes the tips as, “bite-sized, easily digestible advice that you can put to work for you right now, as you rebuild your life and even beyond, because the lessons and wisdom will apply to all parts of your life.”
Shelley Stile is an ACC certified Divorce Recovery Life Coach and author based in Montclair, New Jersey. In addition to her private practice, Shelley leads workshops and tele-seminars on divorce recovery and has taught at the Adult Schools of Montclair and Chatham, NJ as well as leading workshops at the Center for Women in Livingston, NJ.
